So this is my kitchen. I know, right? Tiny, small, little, underwhelming. It’s why I don’t cook as often as I’d like. But hey, we gotta make do with what we have, no? And so the other night I pulled out the ol’ Crock Pot and vowed to make something delicious but simple: Screenwriter’s Chili.
OK, I see you’re hung up on the name, and we’ll get to that later. But here’s the thing — this dish is relatively quick, tasty, and, best of all, easy. I had a hankerin’ for it, and I was gonna prepare it. And in this post, I’m gonna teach you how to prepare it, too.
First, get yourself a pound or so of ground beef or ground turkey. Since I’m a genuine meat eater, I went with ground beef. Look, save your excuses. Ground turkey is for wimps and altar boys. Go with ground beef.
Brown the ground beef (or turkey, echh) over medium-high heat in a large skillet. Once you’ve done that, drain the fat and stir in a 1-ounce packet of chili seasoning mix.
After you’ve done that, you want to then put the seasoned meat into the Crock Pot with 1 can (8 ounces) of tomato sauce, 1 can (14 ounces) of diced tomatoes with green chilies, and 1 can (15 ounces) of red kidney beans. Yes, we are totally cheating here. Just make sure the beans are drained, aight?
Calm down. It ain’t ready to eat yet, hoss.
Turn the Crock Pot on to high, and let it do its thang for the next 2 to 3 hours.
And now, why it’s called Screenwriter’s Chili: You write during the time the chili cooks! It’s really that simple. You can get a lot done in 2 to 3 hours. Hell, I can get between eight and 12 pages written in that span of time
And, if you’ve a long day ahead of you, or you really wanna get some work done, turn the Crock Pot to low and cook/write for 4 to 6 hours. (For the ambitious, that could result in 16 to 24 pages.)
When time’s up, plate yourself a healthy serving of chili. Feel free to garnish with cheese and scallions. It not only tastes good, it photographs well and impresses people on the Internet.
So. Not only did I have a nice, hot bowl of chili after a three-hour writing session, I had a some left over for dinner the next night. We poor screenwriters must find ways to save money and acquire sustenance while (hopefully) writing the next million-dollar spec script. Or, at least, one that Netflix will buy. (Do you hear me, Ted Sarandos?!)
Look, as I mentioned earlier, I know that Screenwriter’s Chili is cheating. We’re not Gordon Ramsay or Mario Batali in this mug. But it is a) tasty; b) filling; c) easy to make; and d) gives you time to write while you “cook” dinner.
C’mon — you really gonna tell me this doesn’t sound appealing to you?
You gonna give Screenwriter’s Chili a chance? Maybe add a your own little twist to it? Lemme know, and lemme know how it turns out. And lemme know what you’re working on as you’re chowing down on the chili. Cheers!